What's good Sales Warriors? John McMahon who? Forget him—this is YOUR Closed Lost Newsletter! 😼

What a Top VC Thinks You Should Be Paid

ICONIQ Capital is one of the top VCs in the world. They’ve invested in companies like Zoom, Snowflake, Uber, Airbnb, Adyen, Datadog — you get it.

They recently released a 77 frickin’ slide behemoth called “The Definitive Guide to Sales Compensation”.

Wondering what your CEO shoving down the CRO’s throat? 💀💀

Here’s the deal…

Top Companies 👌

Of 236 portfolio co’s, 32% are "Top Performers".

Are you sipping champagne in the VIP section of SaaS or still hustling for table scraps with the Web3 companies?

Here's how to know if your company's killin' it:

1️⃣ ARR > $10M: If you don't know what ARR is, kindly exit the sales floor and take a seat with Engineering.

2️⃣ YoY Growth >50%: If you’re not scaling like a teenager during puberty, are you even growing, bro?

3️⃣ NRR 120%+: Customer love should be sticking to you like glitter after a night out.

4️⃣ ARR per FTE $150k+: Make money with headcount or die (yes, including the lady from HR)

What's Shaking Up Pay and Prizes 🚀 

Look, the money world's been kinda wobbly lately, right? So, the bosses who make us hit numbers? They're switching up how they hand out the goodies.

Here's the playbook we stole from their secret meetings (Shhh! 🤫):

✅ Cash for Closes, Not Just Calls: They're tossing coins not just for making calls or sending emails, but for actually closing deals and keeping customers happy.

✅ Big Bucks for the Best Deals: Forget a bazillion tiny deals. They want QUALITY, like deals that grow and fit the customer dream team. Some are even paying based on how net good a deal is, not just how big it is.

✅ Go Big on Growing, Not Just Grabbing: More moolah for making current customers buy more, instead of just hunting new ones.

✅ No Pay, No Play: You gotta hit some basic goals before the cash register rings for you. Pretty cool, eh?

Now, you wont look surprised next time the boss gets the team together! 😎🔥

Let's talk everyone's favorite topic: 💸 Money, Moolah, the Paper Chase!

Specifically, how companies are making it rain—or drizzle—on their sales teams.

🚀 Big Boy Rewards: 82% of companies throw in accelerators and 71% spice it up with SPIFFs. If you're not incentivized... ouch.

🍼 Baby Steps AKA Ramp Periods: Most companies don't throw you in the deep end without floaties. They ease you into quotas and give out 'participation trophies' (a chunk of your variable comp at a base rate). Draws are also in play. Only 17% give you the cold shoulder

🎯 The Sweet Spot: Once you're ramped up, if your team’s quota attainment is between 60-70%, you're just average. Aim for 70-80% if you wanna be a rockstar. OTE ratio? Keep it between 4.0-5.5x if you don't wanna flop.

📈 Quota Buffers: Companies over-assign quotas by 20-30% because, let's be honest, they don't completely trust us (fair). But 29% offer some quota flexibility. Even Finance gets this right sometimes.

🛡️ The Safety Net: Clawbacks are the seat belts of sales comp plans—53% of companies enforce them. Only 14% cap commissions. If your company's in that 14%, are you sure you're not in an episode of "Undercover Boss"? 🤔 

Take it Offline

So whats the final boss at the end of the video game think you should be paid?

🛒 SMB Heroes? Aim for $140-$155K OTE

📈 Mid-Market Joes? Around $235-$250K OTE

🏢 Enterprise Gladiators? Shoot for a cool $325-$340K OTE

Falling short? 🤔 Maybe it's time to send your resume to a place where sales is treated like royalty.

Making more? 🤑 What are you waiting for? Dunkin' runs on you, my friend. Grab the team a box of donuts—or better yet, a round of espressos. We're not Accounting; we can handle it.

Read the guide in full detail here.

We Read a Boring Ass Sales Book… So You Don’t Have To!

Ah, Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss!

“That's the negotiation bible, baby!”… screams your manager.

You know, the one where an FBI hostage negotiator makes your SaaS gig look like a game of paddy whack?

🎯 TLDR:

• "No Deal is Better Than a Bad Deal":  Don't sell yourself short for the sake of closing a deal. Hold out for the big win, the one where both sides high-five instead of secretly flipping each other off.

• "Mirror, Mirror": Mirroring is just repeating the last few words someone says. Sounds dumb, but man, it works! Gets the other side to spill the beans without realizing it.

• "Accusation Audit": Address the elephant in the room. Call out their concerns before they do, like, "You think I'm just another slimy salesperson, huh?" It disarms 'em.

• "Calibrated Questions": Ask questions that make the other side think they're in control, but you're actually steering. Think: "What's holding you back from signing this deal today?"

• "7-38-55 Rule": This ain't a locker combo. It's the ratio of words, tone, and body language in communication.

  • 7% Words: What you're actually saying. That's right, your killer pitch? Just a small slice of the pie.

  • 38% Tone: It's not just what you say, but how you say it. Talk like you're bored, and guess what, they'll be bored too.

  • 55% Body Language: Your posture, your gestures, even that wink you give when you've said something clever—it all counts.

• "That's Right" > "Yes": Getting a "That's right" is the golden ticket. It means they believe in what you're saying. 'Yes' could be them just nodding to get rid of you.

🖕The BS:

Look, not every salesperson is gonna agree with Chris Voss' FBI-flavored kool-aid. So here's why we think it's about as useful as a LinkedIn request from a stranger:

• Too Tactical, Not Strategic: Voss gives you the moves, but doesn't tell you when to bust 'em out. It's like having a toolset but no blueprint.

• Context, Baby!: This guy negotiated with terrorists, not customers who complain about software bugs. Not all tips are one-size-fits-all, you know?

• Overhyped Techniques: Mirroring and labeling might work sometimes, but they ain't the cheat codes to life. If you think repeating back someone's last three words will seal every deal, good luck with that, champ.

• Repetitive: If you like hearing the same points over and over but wrapped in different stories, then great! Otherwise, it's like listening to that one sales rep who won't shut up about that one deal they closed.

• Cherry-Picked Stories: Success stories are nice and all, but they're curated. Where are the failures, the lessons, the "whoops, got that dude yeeted"?

🧠 Final Take: 

Read it, don’t read it, who cares. Our summary has you covered, so go read something cool instead. How ‘bout getting past the 70th page of Dune for starters?

Lets Circle Back